ENTJ Relationships, Dating & Compatibilities with Others
To get a better understanding of ENTJ relationships, we need to repeat a few basic things about ENTJ. In the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, ENTJ personality type is the one that goes under the name of Commander thanks to their leadership and analytical skills. Visualists and leaders, ENTJs are people who have an intrinsic desire to conquer the world.
The ENTJ meaning integrates their four dominant functions- extroverted, intuitive, thinking, judging- functions that determine their preferences and how they communicate with the world.
Difference Between ENTJ-A and ENTJ-T
The ENTJ personality includes two subtypes, ENTJ-A (Assertive) and ENTJ-T (Turbulent). These two have some pronounced differences in how they react to stressful situations and express their emotions.
When comparing ENTJ-T vs. ENTJ-A, the striking difference lies in ENTJ-T’s more expressive emotional response, stronger compassion and lower self-confidence.
Knowing that ENTJs are generally cold and hesitant to express their emotions might help determine why some ENTJs are more prone to share their feelings than others.
What Do ENTJs Look For in Their Relationships
ENTJs are dominant personalities with superior self-confidence that is sometimes even unrealistic. Once introduced, ENTJs surely leave an impression in their surroundings with their witty talk and striking charisma.
They are also very direct, open, and clear in sharing their thoughts. This is often a two-edged sword, and, depending on the types of personalities they communicate with, it can lead to an instant attraction or intimidation.
ENTJs and Dating
Romantic relationships for ENTJs are all about creating strong bonds that will last for a long time. When looking for a partner, they focus on finding someone they can call equal in their interests, intellect, and preferences.
ENTJs could never fall for superficial people who don’t show any particular interest in their work and who fail to keep them engaged for a long time.
During the dating phase, they observe and analyze their potential partner, usually by creating subtle challenges or thoroughly analyzing their behavior.
But, that’s the hidden part of the story. The surface shows a different perspective.
If they are genuinely interested in their prospective partner, they’ll try to impress him/her with surprises, fancy dinners, or trips to exotic places, or they’ll come up with new things to keep the relationship interesting.
ENTJs and Falling In Love
As with everything else in their lives, ENTJs tend to plan everything ahead, including their relationships. They need the reassurance that their relationship is based on trust, honesty, loyalty, and mutual support.
When they do get it, they encourage their partners to grow together with them in fields of mutual interest.
ENTJs will most likely dominate their relationship through planning and organizing every tiny detail of it. While doing it, they’ll always support their partner in his/her interests and ambitions.
The weak side of ENTJs is the lack of strong emotional response, and it can be the cause for many misunderstandings, even breakups. But that is something that is most likely to occur during the early dating phase.
When ENTJs fall in love, it means they are past the dating stage, and their partner has probably realized that they don’t talk about love, nor do they show it in a particular way.
For ENTJs showing love usually means showering their partners with presents, doing something that involves both of them, or even starting a business together.
They scarcely use intimate words to express love and don’t appear overly enticed about the relationship. Bear in mind, though, that ENTJs are straightforward and direct, so their partner will always know where they stand in the relationship.
Best Match for ENTJ’s Romantic Relationship
The Commander personalities are usually obsessed with their professional engagement, so many people perceive them to be uninterested in finding love.
But that assumption is far from the truth as their dedication to finding a partner is taken with the same seriousness as working on a project.
Interestingly enough, ENTJs usually meet their love in the corporate, business-related environment or high-end events.
The people who attract their interest are generally similar to them – sophisticated, visually appealing, and refined.
From the MBTI perspective, the best match for ENTJs is deemed to be INTP. This personality is the most likely to respond to ENTJs’ need for intellectual advancement and growth.
Plus, INTP would gladly allow their ENTJ partner to lead and direct. If both of them are sensible enough to try to put themselves in the other person’s shoes, they are likely to stay on the same page in their relationship.
ENTJ Compatibility with other personality types
The MBTI test can help them to choose and focus on the best career matches for ENTJs, it can also help them find and meet new people and coworkers and it could possibly lead to a compatible love match.
Taken from the Mayers-Briggs personalities perspective, analysts as they are, they match well with Intuitive (N) types who share at least two mutual functions to bring in more balance in the relationship.
ENTJ compatibility with intuitive personalities is reflected mostly in their approach to life, shared values and interests.
Intuitives can distinguish between a lack of emotions and alternative ways of expressing them. In other words, they are the least likely to feel neglected by ENTJs’ clumsiness to show affection.
If they get romantically involved with a Feeling (Fe) personality type, the chances are that their partner will feel emotionally neglected. ENTJs are not good at expressing love, nor are they prone to showing extreme affection.
And while ENTJs love to hear that they are good lovers, they might get annoyed if it happens regularly. For this reason, they can intimately get along with thinking personalities, i.e., those people who are more focused on objective reasoning without relying too much on their feelings.
Besides the ideal matches for the ENTJ personality type which is INTP, the ISTP personality is also a good match because of their introverted thinking function.
ENTJs Strengths in Relationships
Being in a relationship with an ENTJ means being always in the process of developing, learning, and growing. ENTJs are enthusiasts who don’t get satisfied with mere trivialities.
Because of their self-imposed role as the relationship leader, they, more often than not, bring in creativity and adventure to keep it vivid and fulfilling.
ENTJs meet their partner’s needs halfway and are rarely involved in too much drama and emotional perplexity.
They are straightforward and direct as they mean what they say. Regarding ENTJ strengths in a relationship, these are the most peculiar:
ENTJs are generally committed to everything they do, and nothing less can be said about their relationships. They dedicate a lot of time and effort to make it functional.
ENTJs are straightforward personalities with a direct approach. They openly discuss every issue that might come up.
ENTJs don’t find much satisfaction in cheating and manipulating their partners, so their partners usually get their full attention.
ENTJs love discussing their ideas and engaging in serious discussions on complex topics.
- Accepting Criticism
The sensible nature of ENTJs allows them to accept constructive criticism and implement improvements in the relationship.
With an ENTJ partner, the relationship is less likely to turn into a mundane routine.
Commander personalities are organized planners that lead their life in line with their neatly structured plans, strictly adhering to everything they put on the agenda.
- High standards and expectations
ENTJs are sophisticated in every aspect of their lives. They offer a lot and expect the same from their partner.
It is highly uncommon for ENTJs to suddenly change their minds or to do something out of the blue. This also refers to leaving a relationship once they have decided to do so. Be sure that the long and consistent period has passed before he made that apparently sudden decision.
ENTJ Weakness in Relationships
Nobody is perfect, nor are ENTJs regardless of how hard they try to reach perfection. The most common ENTJs’ weaknesses are the following (for a full list visit here):
- Too argumentative
Their love for long discussions can hit the wall of criticism. In most cases, ENTJs enjoy defending their attitudes in thought-provoking discussions.
Unfortunately, insisting on providing arguments can be an annoyance and even an offense for their partner. ENTJs should assess the situation and learn when it is the right time to withdraw.
Their tendency to make a point can turn into heated arguments and conflicts in case the other person also insists on proving him/her right.
ENTJs are driven by their desire to dominate and lead. If this personality trait is too enhanced in their character, they can control, dominate, and intimidate their partner.
Sharing responsibilities in such cases would be hard as they’ll be inclined towards taking charge of everything.
- Hard to express emotions
ENTJs are notoriously known as cold, reserved, and emotionless. While it is far from the truth that they can’t feel anything, they struggle to get in tune with their feelings and understand others’ sentiments.
- Hard to acknowledge their partner’s needs
This trait is related to their tendency to listen to themselves more than listening to others.
ENTJs are self-confident in any situation, including their love life. However, it borders on the line of arrogance when they don’t show an understanding of their partner’s demands.
Explosive- When faced with too much stress, ENTJs can be impulsive, impatient, and explode with harsh reactions.
ENTJ as a Parent
“Let our children grow tall and some taller than others if they have it in them to do so.” – Margaret Thatcher.
For the challenge-driven ENTJ, parenting is another lifetime project that they take very seriously. They dedicate lots of time and effort to make sure their children stay on the right track and develop consistently within their parents’ expectations.
Commanders are lifetime learners, so they expose their children to new information and experiences in their attempt to widen their horizons. They are rigorous and often harsh parents who rarely consider children’s demands if they oppose ENTJs’ norms and standards.
Confident as they are, they are more than convinced that they know the best options for their children. ENTJs’ children usually get the finest of education and upbringing. They are usually part of multiple clubs and organizations more often than not, because their ENTJs parent(s) insisted.
Things may go astray when ENTJs children reach adolescence and start following their dreams and needs, which in the ENTJs’ eyes is seen as rebelling and disrespecting.
In case ENTJs’ children are more sensitive, logic and objectivity will play a minor role. ENTJs are advised to abandon their authoritarian style and start valuing their children’s feelings by introspecting their own.
That is perhaps the only way that strict regimes and high standards can bring growth and development in the long-run without causing emotional burden and frustrations.
There’s a risk that ENTJs could consider themselves to be the authority that must be unconditionally respected and obeyed.
In this case, they can turn into dictators and create an oppressive environment for their children. The outcome in such cases is often disastrous as many children past the puberty decide to leave the family household.
ENTJ as a Lover
“Human beings have a demonstrated talent for self-deception when their emotions are stirred.” – Carl Sagan.
ENTJs are creative leaders in their relationships, and they love being in charge. From the initial attraction through the dating phase, they will mostly be direct and open.
The mystery of the unknown and the constant questioning of the relationship’s future with an ENTJ is highly uncommon. When ENTJs decide that they want to build a relationship, they will clearly say that.
However, because of their awkward and clumsy ways of expressing love, their partners might wrongly interpret their behavior as a lack of interest.
ENTJs as lovers are energetic and driven to inspire their partner. They appreciate it if their partners follow their lead and keep up with their busy schedules. Sexually, they are equally enthusiastic and imaginative, often surprising their partners with novelties in the lovemaking arena.
Naturally, they tend to dominate while making love too! But, ENTJs are considering their partner’s needs and sharing affection. Their sex life is often organized and planned, and little is left to spontaneity.
ENTJs in Friendships
“I feel close to people when they stop and think about my logic because in my head there are clear patterns and I just want for you to see them too”. – an ENTJ.
ENTJs are socially active individuals who are interested in other people’s perspectives and opinions. Equipped with charm and charisma, they are likely to be welcome in any social environment. However, if they realize that the conversations are superfluous and random, they will soon lose interest.
Meeting new friends doesn’t happen randomly for ENTJs, but it is a process based on validating mutual interests.
They highly appreciate the opportunity to grow with their friends while discussing meaningful topics. The high standards they set for all other aspects of their lives apply here as well.
They value their friends a lot, but they expect the same high standards and requirements in turn, which might be difficult for their friends with dominant feeling personalities.
Problems might occur when ENTJs start pushing matters further, challenging their friends, and ignoring emotional arguments completely.
Unless their friends are the thinking type, it would be hard for them to go through the pressure over and over again. ENTJs need to find the border between constructive discussion and offending their friends’ feelings.
ENTJ and Breakup
“You can’t reach what’s in front of you until you let go what’s behind you.” – Anonymous.
ENTJs hate ambiguities and expect a similar approach from their partner. This means that problems are there to be solved for them, a kind of a challenge that tests whether they stand on firm grounds.
As long as there’s a mutual effort to keep the relationship healthy, ENTJs will stay committed and loyal.
When it comes to breakups, they might happen out of a sudden, particularly when the ENTJ realizes that the vision they have for a long-term, stable relationship is not the vision of their partner.
The breakup can also happen after gradually losing interest, particularly if their partners retreat from active participation in discussions and sharing their ideas with ENTJs.
The seemingly reserved and unemotional ENTJ goes through breakups much harder than s/he appears. How much they’ll suffer mainly depends on how seriously they took the relationship.
Still, considering the fact that they enter into a relationship only when they see a potential for a long-term commitment, they might be seriously grief-stricken.
If the relationship involves children, then the process might slow down, but once ENTJs have decided that they will end their relationship, they won’t change their minds. ENTJs never go back once they leave their relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do ENTJs Recover from Breakups?
Practically, there are two ways of dealing with a breakup. In case they realize at the initial stages of the relationship that the person was not the right one, the breakup will be less painful.
They quickly go on by socializing and doing things that make them happy. They see such relationships as a lesson learned in life and move on to find something better.
However, if they genuinely cared about the person, their initial response would be to fight to keep the person. They don’t see themselves as quitters, so they might analyze the situation and figure out ways to fix the problems.
When they finally let go, the best way to cope with the breakup is to dedicate to a job that will take up most of their time. In addition, they socially engage, and focus on the future instead of the past.
How Do ENTJs Show Love?
This is their weak side, if not the weakest. They are rarely in-tune with their emotions and rarely verbalize their feelings.
However, they are the most loyal and committed partners when they are in love. The affection they show is usually manifested through supporting and nurturing their partners.
When sincerely in love, they do say that they love their partner, and they mean it. It goes accompanied by romantic surprises, fancy dinners, adventure trips, and many, many gifts.
And despite their poor emotional expression, they often complement their partners on their looks or achievements.
Contrary to the common opinion, ENTJs are personalities that can turn out to be incredible partners in their relationship. They are supportive, inspiring, and caring while committing themselves to the relationship.
Although they are not very prolific in expressing their emotions, they are among the most loyal partners among the personality types.
ENTJs are big-picture intellectuals who plan ahead their life with their partner and who mean every bit and piece of what they’ve said.
However, they can be bossy, controlling, and imposing at times. They want to have their final say in everything they do, from decorating their house to choosing a holiday destination.
This might be a good thing for the most relaxed, easy-going personality types, but it can be a cause of conflict as well. To overcome their relationship difficulties, ENTJs need to attempt to articulate their feelings, meet their partner’s needs, and value them.
When they realize that their relationship is meant to be built by two people based on mutual love, involvement, and consent, it will flourish