“Be true to yourself.” Many of us have heard this sentence from the people around us as we grow up.
But the current environment that we live in is attempting to distract and shape us into something we are not. We are expected to speak and conduct ourselves in different ways in different settings.
We also live in a society where everyone presents their best self online.
You may feel that revealing your genuine self might be a significant risk, and you may be afraid that other people may start judging or treating you differently.
Rather than allowing fear to drive your self-expression, you must learn to embrace yourself so that you can be true to yourself.
You may be happier when you discover who you truly are and how to be yourself. But the question is how?
In this article, you will learn 15 practical steps on how you can be yourself. You will also learn tips on being yourself while in a relationship.
Why Is Important To Be Yourself Without Fear
Being yourself may be difficult and, at times, frightening. We are afraid that others will criticize and not accept us for who we are.
As we all want to feel loved and accepted, so we may sometimes conceal our true selves.
Putting on a false appearance comes with a price. And the longer you do it, the more detrimental it is to you.
Pretending to be someone you are not may negatively affect your self-esteem and self-confidence.
You may appear to be perfect and dazzling on the outside, but you may be feeling anxious, doubtful, and fearful deep within you.
Consider your own current life: Are your relationships authentic? Do you have self-assurance or security?
We may pretend because we feel isolated and empty, and we act in specific ways to satisfy others.
How can you then expect others to appreciate you if you don’t appreciate yourself?
Our relationships become superficial and worthless when we are not our genuine selves.
A genuine relationship cannot be developed through communication based on lies and misinformation. Their emotions and personalities are imposed rather than allowing things to unfold naturally.
15 Ways To Always Be Yourself And Live Happily & Healthier
1. Don’t Aim to Please Others
If you never do what you always want to do and spend most of your time doing what others want you to do. Then, there is a problem.
Pleasing others may be a good move to feel validated or make others happy. However, you need to recognize your limits to it.
Instead of continually trying to impress others, make time to do things for yourself once in a while.
You should spend less time and energy fulfilling what other people needs. Strive to be more candid about yourself and be genuine with how you feel and think.
2. Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
It is natural to compare yourself to others as you try to discover who you are as a person. It is easy to compare ourselves with what we see in other people’s posts online and their achievements.
These comparisons can undermine our self-esteem and influence our definition of success. Doing this will only hinder your development and keep you from realizing your genuine self.
When you find yourself comparing to others, tell yourself this. We tend to forget that what we see of others is what they want the world to see.
3. Learn More About Yourself
Identifying the unique personality traits that define you is a vital ingredient of discovering who you are as a person.
Each of us has a combination of positive and negative personality traits. Finding out these characteristics can help you to understand yourself deeper.
Spend some time describing yourself in your own words. Recognizing your unique traits enables you to perceive yourself in a more balanced manner.
4. Appreciate Who You Are
Embrace yourself for who you are! Everyone is unique and special in their way.
Take some time to reflect on your areas of strength. Everyone has different talents and qualities, even if they appear tiny and unimportant.
Everyone is also prone to making mistakes. Rather than feeling sorry about it, realize that everyone has to start somewhere.
Learn to appreciate your strengths and mistakes, and see them as a stepping stone in your self-discovery process.
5. Be Confident in Who You Are
As you become more at peace with your true self, you will encounter critics who will question anything about you.
It’s okay to feel unsettled, but don’t let your self-doubt turn into uncertainty.
You will emerge stronger and more confident after going through hardship. It will also put you one step closer to becoming your best self.
Instead of always doubting yourself, you should be confident in yourself.
Having faith in yourself and your decisions will demonstrate to others that you know what you are capable of doing.
6. Forgive Yourself
Forgive yourself for having negative thoughts. Forgive yourself for speaking without processing your thoughts.
Forgive yourself for being disrespectful to your supervisors, colleagues, friends, or family. Forgive yourself for that stupid mistake you made.
Don’t criticize yourself for making wrong choices or terrible decisions. Instead of focusing on what has been done, learn to forgive and move on.
7. Stop Being Negative About Yourself
It is very tempting to be critical of yourself when bad things happen. A way to stop yourself from negative thoughts is by recognizing and addressing your negativity.
We constantly have these inner dialogues, interpreting what is happening around us. And most of these chatters tend to be negative. So, you need to stop yourself from talking to yourself negatively.
Try to focus your attention on the positive things, no matter how trivial it is when you find yourself in a negative situation.
8. Accept Change
We all spend our lifetime trying to figure out who we are as an individual.
In your self-discovery process, you may find certain beliefs or values unimportant. And this may lead you to begin questioning how you think and do.
It’s normal to feel uncomfortable about your doubts, but try not to. Keep in mind that you are a vibrant and unique person.
As you accumulate new knowledge and experiences in daily life, your outlook on life will change. Learn to embrace change as an unavoidable and welcoming part of you.
9. Learn from Your Mistakes
Don’t let a mistake define who you are. Instead, see mistakes as a way to learn and understand more about yourself.
Mistakes in your life do not have to be seen all the time negatively. Take it as a learning opportunity to become a better version of yourself.
While you cannot go back in time to change what you have done, you can accept it and move on. You can reflect on what went wrong, learn from it, and prevent it from happening in the future.
10. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone
As the saying goes, you can’t make progress while in your comfort zone.
The more you push yourself beyond your comfort zone, the more you’ll learn about yourself and what you enjoy doing.
You will encounter different situations that will make you more mature and confident in yourself.
All you need is to try the things you have always wanted to try. The “something” that you are afraid or nervous to do.
Once you expand your comfort zone, you will gradually gain confidence and understand yourself more.
11. Accept Yourself
Most of us don’t want to reveal the vulnerable aspects of ourselves that we dislike. It is tough and uncomfortable to reveal these aspects of ourselves.
We may be afraid of how others see or judge us once they know about our vulnerability.
But to be your true self, you need to show your entire self. You can’t just pick and choose the one you want to show.
To start, you can identify a few individuals you are comfortable with to display your vulnerability. The goal is to have a space to show and be your true self.
12. Show Your Vulnerability
Much evidence shows that the more content we view with attractive people, the worse we feel about ourselves.
Stop letting the gorgeous model on social media define who you are or how your appearance should be.
Learn to accept who you are as a person unconditionally. Be comfortable in your skin. Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses.
Instead of despising your imperfections, choose to be loving towards yourself and your flaws.
13. Surround Yourself with Positive People
Who we spend most of our time with has a significant impact on us. If the people around you are toxic and negative, they’ll influence you to be more negative and toxic over time.
You will also be hesitant to show your true self because you know they will ridicule and make fun of you.
So, make sure you spend your time with sincere and optimistic people. Friends who will not pass judgment on others easily. Friends who are open and supportive.
To be your authentic self, you need to feel safe to show your vulnerabilities to others. It will be much easier to be yourself when you can freely express yourself with others.
14. Live in the Present
It’s easy to get into the habit of constantly worrying about the future, especially when you enter a new phase of your life. You know that what you do now will impact how your near future will unfold.
However, you must remind yourself that life is happening now, not in the future. You should cherish the present or risk missing out on the now if you keep focusing on the future.
You can take some time to reflect and appreciate the good things that happen to you at the end of each day.
15. Face Your Fears
Find out what are some of your fears that are currently worrying you. Once you identify your fear, take small steps to confront it.
You can start by asking yourself why you are feeling this fear. What are some immediate steps you can take to overcome it? If you are unsure where to begin, you can seek assistance from people around you.
Be open to communicating your concerns with others. Who knows if they may also be facing the same issue as you.
Bonus: How To Be Yourself In a Relationship
It is a beautiful feeling to be in a romantic relationship with someone. The issue arises when you feel like you are losing yourself while in a relationship.
It is essential to keep in mind that being in a relationship doesn’t mean you need to please your partner all the time.
A healthy and intimate relationship is defined by how authentic you are as a person. There is no room for lies, deceptions, and pretense.
Here are some pointers to help you be true to yourself when in a relationship:
1. Have personal space and time
Understandably, you desire to spend most of your time with your partner. However, being together all the time may be harmful to your relationship.
It’s best to give you and your partner some personal space and time from time to time.
Take advantage of this time to reflect and explore new things to develop as a person and partner.
Being away from your partner will also make you miss them, and it is a great way to keep the passion of the relationship going.
2. Set boundaries
Agreeing on boundaries in a relationship is critical. You can compromise on certain things, but not all the time.
Both of you are in a relationship, and you should not hide anything from each other, but you still have to establish what is and is not appropriate.
Discuss how you can be honest and transparent while respecting each other’s privacy.
3. Don’t be afraid to commit mistakes
Please do not misunderstand this practical advice. We are not encouraging you to make mistakes. Instead, we want to let you know that not everything you do will be perfect.
Making mistakes is part of understanding yourself and your partner better.
If you made a mistake, accept responsibility for it. Ensure that the same error will not be repeated.
4. Respect yourself
Remember to respect yourself when you are in a relationship. Do you feel that you’re giving more than you’re capable of? Then, don’t let this become a habit and allow your partner to get used to it.
If you think your partner is disrespecting you, voice it out. Don’t allow your partner to treat you in such a way. Make sure you stand up for yourself and defend yourself when you think you’re right.
5. Be honest with yourself and your partner
Another tip to be yourself in a relationship is, to be honest about everything. If you are not comfortable with your partner’s request, share it openly with them.
Even if you know what you say may offend your partner, you still have to tell them honestly. You will not be genuinely satisfied if you are not honest with yourself or your partner.
3 Amazing Books On How To Be Yourself
The Code of the Extraordinary Mind By Vishen Lakhiani
The book encourages us to confront ourselves and address the most challenging questions: “Am I genuinely happy?” Is it me who is living my life? What does it all mean to me?
It permeates all elements of your life, from family to career, relationships, spirituality, etc.
The book does not merely introduce these concepts and leaves you to solve them independently. It leads you through this journey and assists you in finding the answers deep within you.
Talking to Strangers By Malcolm Gladwell
“Talking to Strangers” provides readers with in-depth analysis, excellent examples, and fascinating anecdotes. The author guides us on a quest that invites us to evaluate our behaviors.
This book is not meant to improve your communication skills. It aims to help you understand how and why things happened the way they did, and perhaps next time, you will have the opportunity to change the outcome.
Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain By Lisa Feldman Barrett
This book comprises seven sections, each providing a quick and entertaining lesson on the brain. The book aims to help you understand how your brain functions and, as a result, understand yourself a tad better.
It features an insightful section that explains how we are born with our brains “under construction” and that they stay that way for some time.
7 Inspiring Quotes That Will Help You To Be Yourself Under Any Condition
- “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
- “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” — Steve Jobs
- “Your self-worth is determined by you. You don’t have to depend on someone telling you who you are.” — Beyoncé
- “I think everybody’s weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.” — Johnny Depp
- “You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
- “The goal is not to be better than the other man, but your previous self.” — The Dalai Lama
- “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” — Les Brown
Frequently Asked Questions About Being Yourself
How can I be real with myself?
There are many ways you can take to be your true self.
You can start by spending less time and energy to fulfill other people’s needs.
Try to be more candid about who you are and be genuine with how you feel and think.
Don’t compare yourself with others. Doing so will only hinder your development and keep you from realizing your authentic self.
Embrace yourself for who you are as a person. Everyone is unique and special in their way.
Why is it hard to be myself?
The current environment we live in is attempting to distract and shape us into something we are not. We are expected to speak and conduct ourselves in different ways in different settings.
We also live in a society where everyone presents their best self online.
You may feel that revealing your genuine self might be a significant risk, and you may be afraid that other people may start judging or treating you differently.
How do you know if you’re yourself?
choose to be loving towards yourself and your imperfections.
You face your fears bravely and are willing to step out of your comfort zone. Instead of blaming yourself for your mistakes, you learn to forgive and move on.
