Feeling lost and unsure of who you are is a common experience. The question of “Who am I?” can be a daunting one, surfacing in unexpected moments of doubt and uncertainty. Whether it’s a career crossroads, a sense of unfulfillment, or the aftermath of a challenging experience, identity crises can leave us feeling adrift and alone. Navigating the journey of self-discovery can feel intimidating, especially if you aren’t sure of your core values and true purpose. However, by taking the HIGH5 strengths assessment, you can gain invaluable insights into your unique talents, passions, and what truly motivates you.
This self-awareness can not only alleviate the fear of the unknown but also empower you to make informed decisions that align with your authentic self, ultimately enabling you to thrive both personally and professionally. While finding yourself takes time and commitment, the rewards are immense. Being better in tune with yourself, your thoughts, goals, values, and feelings can help you make decisions more easily and stand up for yourself when faced with a challenge. In this article, we will discuss the most commonly used strategies during the self-discovery process and the benefits of finding yourself.
The importance of finding yourself
Living life with confidence in your values and who you are as an individual brings a plethora of benefits. It gives you direction in growth through life, which helps you make successful career and relationship decisions. A true sense of identity can also make you more comfortable with who you are and what you want out of life. However, there are so many other immense benefits that come with understanding yourself.
List of 10 benefits of finding yourself
Finding yourself is more than just a personal journey; it’s a transformative process that can have profound benefits for your life. By delving deeper into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, you can gain valuable insights into your strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations. This self-discovery can lead to increased emotional intelligence, healthier habits, a clearer sense of purpose, and more fulfilling relationships. Let’s explore the ten key benefits of finding yourself.
- Gaining a better insight into your feelings builds your emotional intelligence.
- Experience freedom from bad habits once you understand the root cause of those habits and which of your values those habits violate.
- Clarify the type of person you are: understand both your strengths and weaknesses as well as ways to apply them.
- Assess your current situation and understand which career/relationship growth strategies are working and which are not.
- Look at how you spend your time and potentially free up extra time from activities that don’t align with your worldview.
- Create clear and ambitious but still realistic goals and evaluate how well you achieve them.
- Identify which of your relationships need special attention and ways to fix strains in your relationships.
- Become more comfortable with long-term endeavors, because self-discovery is a lifelong journey.
- Ensure that the decisions you make are in line with your goals and values.
- Feel more comfortable being the most authentic version of yourself.
Pro Tip From HIGH5
Reflect on the strengths identified by the HIGH5 assessment and consider how you can leverage them to achieve personal and professional growth. Regularly revisit your strengths and explore new ways to apply them in different areas of your life.
Start finding yourself in 19 steps
1. Try to figure out what’s important to you
Your values are a major part of your personality and aspirations. In fact, most goals and decisions are in some way or form related to your values. Finding which values contribute most to your personality and which people or places matter most to you can help you realize who and what should be your focus. Ask yourself: is there anyone I cannot live without? Is there an activity I love so much I can’t imagine not ever doing it? Which values make me who I am?
2. Start going places by yourself
While there are certainly benefits to traveling with family and friends, going places solo can help you be more in tune with yourself. You will be focused more on your own desires and thoughts as opposed to primarily placing values on others’ needs in group travel. If you are a very extroverted person, traveling alone may feel odd at first. The more you travel solo, though, the easier it gets. Plus, it can help you uncover your true identity and boost your self-awareness as you experience new people, cultures, and situations.
3. Get out and try new things
Trying new things is a powerful tool for self-discovery because it challenges our comfort zones and forces us to explore different aspects of ourselves. By stepping outside of our familiar routines, we can uncover our hidden talents, passions, and strengths. Overcoming challenges and facing new experiences can also boost our self-esteem and confidence, helping us to believe in our abilities in a wide range of conditions. Furthermore, trying new things can broaden our horizons and expand our perspectives. In fact, this can be as simple as trying a new sport, dish, or restaurant. Through such experiences, you will become acquainted with the unexplored parts of your personality.
By experiencing different cultures, viewpoints, and ways of life, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us. This can help us to become more open-minded, empathetic, and adaptable. When approaching new experiences, it’s equally important to understand your existing strengths and how to leverage them effectively. The HIGH5 strengths assessment can provide valuable insights into your unique talents and abilities, empowering you to approach new challenges and opportunities with greater confidence. By aligning your pursuits with your innate strengths, you can unlock new levels of growth and fulfillment, even in seemingly simple endeavors.
4. Evaluate times when you felt comfortable with yourself
Almost everyone can recall times when they felt self-confident and also times when they felt self-conscious. Think about a time you felt internally strong, such as when you worked hard to achieve a certain position at work or powered through a difficult workout. It can be a small or seemingly insignificant moment, but even then, explore why you felt so confident and happy. Consider who was around you, which values you fulfilled, and what decisions you made. Then, you can surround yourself with the same people or use similar strategies to feel confident more often.
5. Think about your family life
When someone first enters adulthood, there is often confusion with the place they have in their family. If your parents still treat you as a child, or you find yourself getting involved in childish affairs, you could be holding yourself back from maturity. To get out of this unproductive situation, try to avoid following your impulses to conform to family expectations just for the sake of conforming. Discuss the values behind those expectations with your parents and decide for yourself whether or not you share those values. Once you act more maturely and independently, your adult identity becomes more established.
6. Overcome bad habits
Be honest with yourself by noticing which behaviors of yours are truly detrimental to your long-term success. After that, you can replace those bad behaviors with activities that are in line with your values. Plus, the habit-learning process can help you develop stamina and persistence. Once you overcome a bad habit, you will likely feel more proud and confident – two key emotions to feeling comfortable with yourself.
7. Practice mindfulness
You can overcome the hustle, bustle, and noise of everyday life by practicing mindfulness. The term itself has become somewhat vapid over the past few years, but rest assured, mindfulness has been shown to improve self-esteem, a key feature of self-knowledge [1]. Simply practicing deep breathing or doing a bit of yoga are two practical ways to become more in touch with the present rather than worrying about the future or ruminating on the past. There are also lots of mindfulness apps you can download if you are still struggling.
8. Silence your inner critic
Everyone has that voice in the back of their head which makes them doubt themselves and focus on their weaknesses. However, when you take control of your thoughts and practice positive self-talk, you help yourself break free from anxiety and depression [2]. If you fail, for instance, tell yourself that failure is a part of being human. Continuous effort is what will help you succeed in the long term. Do not let negative thoughts fill your mind, as this leads to self-sabotaging behavior. Then, you can chase the goals that matter most to you.
Pro Tip From HIGH5
Having trouble remembering good things to say about yourself? Silence your inner critic with insights from the HIGH5 strengths assessment. Identify your unique strengths and remind yourself of them regularly. By focusing on your strong points, you can build up your self-confidence and experience more success.
9. Place a high value on your own opinion
Realize that you do not have to please everyone to be happy. In fact, putting too much emphasis on others’ opinions could cause you to lose your sense of self. To start a journey toward authenticity, you must primarily focus on your own goals and desires, not other’s. If you struggle with this notion, consider the fact that there are clearly people you like, others you dislike, and some who are neutral. The same is likely true about how others feel about you. Everyone is welcome to their opinion, but the only opinion you have to live with every moment of the day is your own.
10. Volunteer
Try to seek out a new charity you are not familiar with, and try new things while bettering your community. Volunteering often gives individuals a feeling of gratitude, as they begin to pay closer attention to things they take for granted. Plus, donating and volunteering are both ways to align your actions with your values. There is no better feeling than knowing you made a positive difference in others’ lives.
11. Try unplugging
Oftentimes, phones and technology distract us from our inner feelings and true thoughts. Distancing yourself from technology can help you be more in tune with your preferences and ideas. Avoid taking your phone out whenever confronted with discomfort. Instead, when discomfort arises, reflect on the situation and ask yourself why you wanted to distract yourself in that moment.Using this strategy, you will learn more about your triggers and get a chance to act more intentionally.
12. Appreciate your uniqueness
The speed and interconnectedness of today’s culture can sometimes blur our ability to notice our uniqueness. Try dedicating time to recognizing your unique abilities and strengths as identified in the results of your HIGH5 strengths assessment. You could also your friends or coworkers for some honest input on your unique qualities. Knowing that others appreciate your uniqueness can help you see yourself in a new light as well.
13. Consider therapy
Self-discovery is not a simple process. Sometimes, the best way to proceed is with professional help. Therapists are skilled in finding the right questions to ask so you unlock your strengths. Having the help of a life coach or therapist often speeds up your self-growth. Their immense experience with real people similar to you can help you look at yourself from a new perspective. Different types of therapy and coaching can serve specific purposes on your self-discovery journey. For instance, interpersonal therapy helps you uncover the role your family played in your decisions and behaviors. Cognitive-behavior therapy teaches you to think and talk about yourself in a more positive light.
14.Visualize your ideal lifestyle
Imagine the life you wish to lead – where you live, your daily routine, and who is with you. This visualization can help you get in touch with what’s truly important to you. Your biggest dreams can then guide your decisions and help align your actions with your desires.
15. Reflect on your relationships
Assess the influence of your relationships on your personal growth. Determine which ones uplift you and which might hold you back, and adjust your social circle accordingly.
16. Keep yourself organized
A clutter-free environment can lead to a clearer mind. Organizing your space and schedule can help reduce stress and increase your focus on personal goals.
17. Learn to differentiate support from opinions
Understand the difference between genuine support that aids your growth and mere opinions that may steer you off course. This discernment can empower you to make more authentic choices.
18. Make a list of things you value about yourself
Create a self-affirmation list highlighting your strengths and values. Refer to your list to boost your self-esteem and remind yourself of your positive qualities.
19. Accept support
Be open to accepting help and guidance from others. Support from trusted individuals can provide comfort and reinforce your journey of self-discovery.
Pro Tip From HIGH5
Utilize the insights from the HIGH5 strengths assessment to identify positive behaviors that align with your unique strengths. By focusing on activities that allow you to exercise your strengths, you can gradually replace negative habits with more fulfilling and productive pursuits.
How do you find yourself in different situations?
A number of problems can make self-discovery even more difficult than it already is. Your inner emotions and self-doubts can contribute to the difficulty of this journey. Remember, though, that self-discovery is possible given enough time and effort. Below are a few ways you can find yourself through specific challenging circumstances:
How to find yourself in a relationship
Reflect back to more positive times in your relationship. What made you initially feel happy, and why are you attracted to your partner? Once you understand what makes you happy, try doing those activities more often with your partner. Also, ensure you stand your ground about your beliefs and desires. Even when you fight, ensure that your voice is heard. Try to be reasonable with your partner, but do not bend your values. If you find your values are in direct conflict with your spouse’s actions, it may be time to reconsider the relationship.
How to find yourself when you feel lost
Feeling lost is common after certain traumatic or negative events, such as a breakup or getting fired from your job. Rekindle your strengths and positive feelings by dedicating time to do what you love more often. Also, consider spending time with those who make you feel the happiest. While being surrounded by positivity is important, spending time reflecting alone is equally important to your self-discovery. Here’s where that list of your unique traits, goals, values, and strengths will help. Remind yourself each day that you are unique, and align your choices with your greatest interests. This clearer sense of passion and purpose can help you find yourself after feeling lost.
How to find yourself again
Some are able to find a clear sense of themselves but later lose their sense of self because they do not implement certain helpful strategies long-term. If you used to feel like you knew who you are but have since lost that feeling, try to look back at the strategies you used when you felt more secure in your identity. Are you still using those strategies? If not, were they proven ineffective, or did you just lose your inner drive? If you find that you simply lost motivation, try reusing your old techniques again. However, if your prior strategies are ineffective, explore new ways to discover yourself through new activities.
How to find yourself using online tools
The web can be a helpful tool in the self-discovery process. You can even find a high-quality therapist from the comfort of your home. Unlike traditional therapy, online therapy may be less invasive, more comfortable, and less time-consuming, as you never leave your home. Looking back at your past social media posts can also bring back memories of times when you felt truly secure in yourself. Recall what made you feel fulfilled during those moments. Was it the people, the place, or something else?
How to find yourself spiritually
To develop your spiritual self, you must first try a few methods of self-discovery. Begin by looking for the deeper meaning in everyday tasks and analyzing patterns of the world around you. See if you find yourself guided spiritually in a certain direction based on these patterns. Try to think positively, and replace negative thoughts/criticism with positive affirmations. In addition, being mindful can also boost your spiritual well-being while also helping you find yourself. Meditating, reflecting, journaling, or simply stopping to smell the flowers are all forms of mindfulness.
How to find yourself after a breakup
Finding yourself after a relationship ends usually involves the goal of returning to your prior happy self. Before you can become more confident and authentic, take time to separate yourself from any negative ideas your former partner projected on you. All of the hurtful names they called you are simply reflections of their own insecurities and immaturity. Be compassionate and forgiving to yourself. Allow yourself to make mistakes, and learn from them without putting yourself down. Go out and try things your former partner discouraged you from doing. This freedom will help you discover your interests, passions, values, and strengths.
How to find yourself FAQ
How do I begin to find myself?
There are a number of ways you can kickstart your self-discovery process. For instance, begin by imagining your ideal self. Consider what you want to achieve, who you want to be around, what you want to be doing, and so on. Then, try to formulate a plan to achieve your future goals. Do not be afraid to try new things, as new experiences are key to learning more about yourself. Stop worrying about what others may think of you. There is no true benefit to such worrying, and it will only make you less confident and more self-conscious. You can also start by acknowledging your current skills/strengths by creating a unique strength list. Each day, read the list so you can remind yourself you are unique and strong.
How do you get yourself back?
Gaining full control over your desires and emotions can be tough after losing track of who you really are. However, you can get yourself back by giving up bad habits. Identify the activities that hold you back from achieving your dreams. Usually, these activities are unproductive and/or do not align with your values. Then, replace these activities with positive behaviors. Maintain a positive mindset. Replace any negative thoughts or criticisms with positive affirmations.
What does it mean to find yourself?
Finding yourself involves becoming more in tune with your emotions, thoughts, values, and desires. It is recognizing who you are as a creative person and accepting yourself. However, that does not mean ignoring your weaknesses or stagnating. In fact, self-discovery often leads to positive changes in behavior. Once you find yourself, you are more likely to seek ways to use your strengths more often. Plus, you will likely find activities that are more in line with your goals and values than what you do now. In short, find yourself acknowledging your unique qualities while working to be the most authentic version of yourself.
How do I discover who I am?
Discovering yourself involves exploring new interests, assessing your strengths and weaknesses, and understanding how you interact with different environments. By actively engaging in these activities, you can gradually uncover the unique person you are. Remember, self-discovery is a journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself and enjoy the process of learning more about who you are.
Can you be too old or too young to find yourself?
There is no specific age at which you can truly find yourself. Self-discovery is a lifelong process that can occur at different stages and ages depending on your personal growth and experiences.
How does a person find themselves?
A person finds themselves by actively seeking personal growth through experiences, education, and introspection, and by embracing the journey of understanding their unique identity.
References:
- Chandna, S., Sharma, P. & Moosath, H. The Mindful Self: Exploring Mindfulness in Relation with Self-esteem and Self-efficacy in Indian Population. Psychol Stud 67, 261–272 (2022). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12646-021-00636-5
- Goldsmith B. (May 2, 2022). The Benefits of Positive Self-Talk. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/202205/the-benefits-of-positive-self-talk
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