INFP Relationship Guide – Compatibilities, Dating, Best Matches & Love
Before we dive deeper into INFP relationships, we will repeat a few facts about INFP personality. The Myers-Briggs Personality Test (MBTI) distinguishes the INFP personality as introverted, intuitive, feeling, and prospecting.
Nicknamed as the Mediator, Healer, or Idealist, these people appear shy, quiet and withdrawn on the outside. However, they show a genuine interest and care for other people and often have high moral values and principles.
The INFP personality is rare, and these individuals experience and value everything through their senses and feelings.
They are open-minded and imaginative with a genuine interest to make the world a better place. They often put themselves in other people’s shoes and intuitively understand them.
Having such rare personality traits means that many people do not entirely understand INFPs. Sometimes this can make INFPs feel down in the dumps and disheartened, so acknowledging their personality type can help them and their partners thrive in difficult situations.
Therefore, this article focuses on INFP personality, how they create relationships, what their best match could be, what they look for in a romantic relationship, and their significant strengths and weaknesses in relationships.
How Do INFPs Look at Dating and Falling in Love
“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” – Sam Keen
INFPs are the rulers of love. These are individuals who seek ultimate love connection, a perfect bond between two people. But, INFPs look for a deeper connection with their partner, a relationship that goes on a spiritual level and joins together the body, mind, and soul.
This quest to find ‘true love’ is not limited to a romantic relationship only. INFPs are searching for a soulmate, a true friend, someone to rely on ‘in good or bad times,’ a person they can share their deepest thoughts, feelings, and fears.
INFPs never take dating just for fun, so even in the initial stages of dating, they search for someone they can start a family with.
People who attract INFPs are those who share their worldview and moral values. Authenticity and honesty bring people closer to INFPs, and if their intuitive sensing function recognizes a potential partner, they become increasingly interested.
That spark of interest is likely to burn up flames only if the other person shows empathy, commitment, and understanding of INFPs’ needs.
However, INFPs’ desires and values and how they express them in many cases, appear paradoxical. Since they are introverts, they experience their passions and emotions inwardly and don’t tend to show much of their intimate thoughts with the rest of the world.
So, it takes time for their partner to understand their genuine motives and the honest love they feel.
But, INFPs don’t fall in love very easily, and while they are dating someone, they tend to compare the person with their idealized version of a perfect relationship. That might turn out wrong as that person could never reach INFPs expectations, and they can easily get disappointed.
Yet, when they eventually fall in love, they overwhelm their partner with affection and love, dedicate their time to achieve a more profound connection, and try to please them in any way while accepting their partners the way they are.
INFP’s Best Match For a Romantic Relationship
The sensitive, empathetic nature of INFPs makes them suitable to enter into a relationship with almost all personality types, depending on what would attract them the most. Also, when choosing the INFPs’ best match for a romantic relationship, identity expression plays a big part.
The identity trait is expressed through their Assertive (INFP-A) or Turbulent (INFP-T) feature, i.e., the two different strains of the INFPs.
The differences between the INFP-A and INFP-T show the effect of stress on them, their interaction with the people around, and how they deal with emotions.
The best match for INFPs would be individuals with similar viewpoints of the world, similar moral values, and similar interests. Since the Healer personalities focus on creating an unbreakable bond with their prospective partner, they are looking for individuals capable of valuing emotions and prioritizing them.
Plus, INFPs need frequent assurance that things are headed in the right direction, i.e., kind of a confirmation that everything works fine.
Therefore, partners who understand this need will make INFP confident and even more committed. Add to this quality-time spent together with some creativity included, and you’ll get the recipe for a thriving relationship.
On the more practical side, INFPs would suit well partners who can take the initiative on doing daily chores and who are good at managing day-to-day tasks. INFPs can’t pride themselves on being organized and neat, so having such a partner would be a blessing.
The most compatible personality types for INFPs are considered the INFJ, ESFJ, and ENFJ personality types. The joint function is the extroverted feeling (Fe) that allows INFPs to explore the more adventurous side of their personalities mutually.
Plus, all these three personality types are far more decisive compared to INFPs, particularly when it comes to trivialities such as what to eat, which film to watch, etc.
Compatibility with Other Personality Types
When paired with their keen intuitive types, INFPs can create a very harmonious relationship. These couples usually strive to explore the world, share their understanding, and engage in in-depth conversation topics.
Those individuals who use their extraverted intuition as a dominant cognitive function will equally share the enthusiasm to explore the unknown, reveal new perspectives, and keep the relationship steady.
On the flip side, any relationship with persons with thinking or judging traits might cause frequent emotional outbursts. These personalities are known to be straight, direct, and very objective, and rarely consider other people’s emotions when delivering a message.
This is in direct opposition to INFPs’ sensitivity to objective criticism, and they often feel personally attacked when faced with argumentative discussions that go against their viewpoint.
INFP as a Parent – Parental Relationship with Their Child
The most dominant trait of the INFP personality is the need to nurture and care, which makes them natural parents. Having their own children and taking care of them makes the Healer personality exceptionally fulfilled and content.
Being a parent doesn’t only mean personal satisfaction to them, but it also means developing and fortifying their values.
With the thought of passing on all their principles and high standards to their offspring, INFPs feel that they contribute towards creating a better society in the years to come.
INFPs are warm, friendly, and flexible parents who rarely get involved in conflictual situations with their children.
INFPs tend to impose their principles by delivering positive examples and creating a firm bond of love and understanding. They love discussing issues and mutually finding solutions for any problem that might occur.
Individuals with mediator personalities are not strict parents, but they hold to strictly determined values and norms. They are not likely to punish their children in the case of misbehavior by using standard methods of punishment.
Still, they will certainly do whatever it takes to make their children understand the wrongdoing and never do it again.
INFPs won’t hesitate to turn to disciplinary measures in case their children show utmost disrespect or severe violation of their strongly-held beliefs.
INFJs value their children’s identity and individuality and make sure that their needs are adequately met. INFJs would always support their children’s choices and respect their opinions in the family.
INFJs’ children know that in their INFJ parent(s), they can always find love, affection, encouragement, and support.
INFP as a Lover in a Sexual Relationship
INFPs are romantic souls who look for the perfect, true love. They are in a constant quest for finding the ideal partner, and once they are in a relationship, they compare their partner with the idealized version of the perfect one.
Oftentimes they tend to attribute ideal features to their mates and see them in a twisted, perfect-like version. While dating, INFPs are cautious about opening up and seem reserved and reticent.
When INFPs date a person, they don’t consider other options as they are not people who readily engage in casual relationships. Their loyalty and commitment are the same from the moment INFPs start dating someone to the very end.
Sexually, the reserved, careful approach can be evident at the beginning of the INFPs relationships. However, as INFPs start to create a more meaningful attachment to the person they are dating, their sex life becomes more versatile.
INFPs are sexually creative, and they often tend to explore and test the limits. Yet, the sexual act itself is of little importance unless love and affection are shared.
The bond they create while making love involves frequent affection exchange, sweet words, and tenderness. INFPs will do anything to please their partners to the point of neglecting their own needs.
INFP in Friendships
Among all the introverts, INFPs are the most socially engaged and active. As much as their introverted function allows them, they love being accompanied by different sorts of people for various purposes.
The most common being their innate need to deliver assistance and help to those in need. When it comes to personal, close friendships, the INFPs circle is relatively small, consisting of a few people they can trust and rely on.
Mediators’ close friends are usually friends for life, and it is them whom INFPs share their most intimate details. With them, they can contemplate and discuss human nature. INFP’s friends also share established moral values and norms.
Similarly to love relationships, INFPs create deep and meaningful relationships with their close friends. INPFs are loyal and supportive of their friends and tend to help them achieve their goals. INPFs love the idea of learning and exploring new concepts with their friends, either.
However, a true friend of any INFP personality is aware that their INFP friend has an innate need to retreat, spend time alone, and think over important issues.
Those who call themselves close friends of someone with a Mediator personality would never get offended by such behavior. They know when’s the right time to withdraw from social engagement with their INFP friend.
INFP and Breakups
While breakups are difficult for anyone, and everyone heals differently, INFPs take things from a completely different perspective.
When a breakup occurs, INFPs focus on their emotions and how the breakup makes them feel. Their overly sensitive nature makes the situation very hard to endure, and they need to understand every emotion they feel so that they can let things go.
When a breakup happens, it doesn’t happen abruptly, even though INFPs might perceive it as such. Their emotional attachment to their mate and their conflict-avoiding nature make them ignore the obvious signs of dysfunction and disagreement.
INFPs stick to the relationships to the very end of it, even when problems start piling up, without doing anything significant to tackle the issues.
During the first days of the breakup, INFPs feel overwhelmed and emotionally torn apart. They tend to focus on the best moments they had with their ex-partner, often neglecting all the things that led to eventually breaking up.
Thinking logically during this stage is almost impossible for them, and they struggle.
However, after processing the emotions they feel and accepting the fact that it is truly over, they can let go without turning back.
The best way to heal is by getting immersed in nature, spending time with their friends, or taking up a new hobby, something that they are passionate about.
INFP Strengths in Relationships
- Genuine Romantics
INPFs are kindred souls that pour their hearts with affection and intimacy. When they love somebody, they spend quality time together accompanied by words of intimacy and love, gifts, romantic dinners, and unusual trips.
INFPs expect the same in return and can be literally moved if their partner surprises them with similar acts of love, including personal contributions, such as creative gifts made by them or trips organized solely on their own.
- Extremely Devoted
When Mediator personality types are deeply in love, they put their partner first and overlook their needs. They do whatever it takes to please their partners, which might get them to feel overwhelmed in case this devotion is not met halfway.
Being devoted to their partners means spending INFPs’ time solely on creating deep emotional bonds and getting to know each other better.
It is relatively unlikely for a Mediator to look for another partner while being in a relationship or to be caught cheating.
The extraverted intuition (Ne) makes INFPs fond of exploring new ideas, eager to learn new prospects, and focus on possibilities. They appreciate differences as an opportunity to learn something new. That makes them easy-going, laid back, and supportive of their partners.
- Warm and Caring
INFPs are excellent and attentive listeners when their partners communicate with them and promptly react to their needs. It is within their personality to honestly care about the people they love and show support in any way.
INFPs avoid disputes and arguments by all means and strive to achieve win-win situations whenever possible.
INFP Weaknesses in Relationships
- Shy, reserved, and timid
Regardless of the intensity of their emotions, INFPs won’t have them on a public display. It takes lots of time, patience, and trust for the Mediators to openly show the depth of their feelings, which might discourage their partners.
- Extremely sensitive to criticism
INFPs are sensitive individuals who take every type of criticism very personally and get fixated on it. That leads to questioning their abilities and withdrawal from social contacts.
It is very common for INFPs to go repeatedly through situations that have already happened in an attempt to visualize a different scenario.
The overthinking and the sensitivity to criticism makes INFPs focused on their own behavior, and they often blame themselves for almost anything that didn’t go right.
The tendency to question everything makes them vulnerable to almost all negative words their partners say, even to comments that do not involve them. In such cases, INFPs need words of affirmation and praise to make sure they are needed and loved.
Frequently Asked Questions
How Do Others See and Perceive the INFP?
Others see INFPs as reserved, private individuals who rarely discuss personal issues. They appear kind and warm and show genuine interest in other people’s lives.
This duality of being affectionate and yet reticent makes them seem mysterious and intriguing. INFPs are generally laid-back and open-minded, so people see them as relaxed and easy-going.
However, if INFPs haven’t reached personal maturity, they might give the impression of being withdrawn, impractical, or easily offended. For a full INPF personality guide, click here.
What Does INFP Stand For?
The acronym INFP stands for the four cognitive functions that depict someone’s personality traits. These include introverted, intuitive, feeling, and prospecting, i.e., traits that show someone’s preferences, interactions with the people, and point to INPF career paths and potentials.
Are INFPs rare? And How Rare?
Even though not the rarest personality type, with just about 4,4% of the world population, INFPs are a very rare personality type that exhibits a unique set of capabilities.
These abilities include reading and sensing people through intuition and understanding their deepest needs.
Understanding how INFPs interact with people around them and create relationships is important for both INFPs and those they interact with.
The seemingly cold and reserved INFPs’ appearance hides a complex, emotional nature that is warm and caring.
In romantic relationships, Mediator personalities are devoted, affectionate, and caring, while their close circle of true friends is privileged to have loyal friends for life.
Those who are INFPs’ friends and partners need to show patience and genuine understanding so that they are able to feel the utmost love and affection INFPs can give to them.
People with INFP personality should make sure they express their emotions to those that mean a lot to them.
Besides, they need to understand that confronting someone is not necessarily a bad thing and sometimes it is more than needed to solve important issues in their relationships.