INTP (Logician) Relationships Guide – Compatibilities and Best Matches for Dating & Love
The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is based on Carl Jung’s theory on personality types and recognizes 16 different personalities. These personality types are differentiated by four cognitive functions that determine how people engage in interpersonal relationships, make decisions, and create preferences.
The meaning of each personality type comes as an acronym for these functions.
The INTP personality type is characterized by introverted, intuitive, thinking, and perceiving cognitive functions. These people have outstanding thinking and analytical abilities, accompanied by unconventional creativity and independence.
Due to their enhanced intellectual skills, the INTP personality type is called Logician or Thinker. In this article, we analyze INTP relationships and their dating preferences.
INTP Best Match For a Romantic Relationship
The dual nature of the two worlds (the inner and outer) INTPs live in is strikingly different, making INTPs appear confusing even to the closest people.
While their imagination resembles the latest Steven Spielberg movie, the real world often is a pale contrast. This opposition leads INTPs to act from absolute excitement and enthusiasm to a complete withdrawal and seclusion.
Regarding the best romantic match for INTPs, that would be someone with shared Intuitive (iN) cognitive function with one or two opposing traits.
People with extroverted, intuitive function usually understand what’s not said and can go deeper into what others have to say without hearing the actual words. They can also understand patterns and body language, which are extremely important when someone is romantically involved with a Thinker.
Bearing this in mind, looking from the MBTI partner compatibility perspective, the best INTP romantic matches are ENTJ, ENTP, or ESTJ.
The first two personality types share the intuitive function, but they are natural leaders that love taking charge and take care of things that INTPs are naturally bad at.
The only possible problem might arise from their overly pushy nature, but if that is something that both partners can manage, the two personalities can easily get along.
Compatibility with Other Personality Types
Although it is commonly accepted that two mature individuals can create a healthy relationship regardless of their personality type, some personality types fit more naturally to a specific counterpart.
In the case of the INTP personality type, in addition to ENTJ or ESTJ, other personality types can also be an interesting match, depending on the person’s identity, habits, and preferences.
Extroverted personalities that are good at taking the lead are generally a good match for INTPs, provided they don’t interfere with the INTPs’ need for independence and make sure that Logicians have enough personal time. In this respect, ENFJ would be a good fit for social engagement and doing things that INTPs usually ignore.
The challenges with this personality type are likely to revolve around feelings and emotional expression. On the one hand, ENFJs could spark personal growth and teach INTPs how to become more aware of their feelings. On the other hand, the logical nature of INTPs might oppose and even dismiss them if not guided carefully.
When in a relationship with ENFP, Thinkers can find themselves in turbulent waters of mystery, idealism, a philosophical approach to life, and deep emotions. The intuitive nature of both personality types can lead to a passionate attraction and mutual understanding.
Similar to INTPs, ENFPs tend to explore new ideas, future possibilities and discuss them. However, the vigorous nature of ENFPs and the deep emotional expression might scare INTPs and reject them.
How Do INTPs Look at Dating and Falling in Love
The introverted nature of INTPs makes these people withdrawn and inwardly oriented. However, their inner world is rich in imagination and exceptional creativity.
While INTPs don’t prefer to be the center of attention, their analytical nature allows them to observe the people they interact with carefully.
Yet, as INTPs are very rational and question and analyze everything, they are not likely to appear overly enthusiastic, even when they apparently like the person.
Advice on What INTPs Look For in the Dating Phase
In essence, what INTPs look for is an intellectual partner whom they could spend quality time discussing theories and possibilities. But this is just broadly taken, as INTPs are somewhat notorious when romantic relationships are in question.
Due to their inferior Feeling function, for INTPs, emotions have little to no value on their own, so it is not likely for Logicians to take them into account when making decisions.
This also implies an almost zero chance that INTPs would fall in love with a person who doesn’t share their passion for cognitive development and growth.
Yet, INTPs are far from boring, shy persons who show no interest in the outer world. INTPs do look reserved, but once they start theorizing and a topic sparks their interest, they turn into mysterious, passionate enthusiasts who look immensely attractive.
Dating an INTPs means that their partner has passed the selection stage and that the INTP found him/her to be intelligent enough to engage in in-depth analysis and unraveling personality exploration.
At the early dating stage, INTPs tend to be fairly spontaneous, laid-back, and unconventional. What INTPs won’t probably get are traditional dating night outs and usually doing early-dating staff.
However, INTPs are somewhat eccentric, so they usually find a unique way of making each dating experience count.
And, while things might look extremely promising at one end, on the other, they keep a low profile and don’t show much interest in constant communication and incessant chitchats with their partners.
This could be confusing, though, since the signals INTPs send are two-sided and extremely opposite, i.e., creating moments to remember and then suddenly going off the grid.
INTP in Love – How Do They Build the Relationship and Show Love?
To keep the relationship going, the INTPs’ partners are advised not to get discouraged by the hot-cold approach that INTPs impose. Logicians don’t play these games on purpose.
That’s how they express their personality, and more than certainly, they are handicapped when they are supposed to express their feelings (or, God forbid, talk about them).
Yet, INTPs won’t stay calm if their imagination or intuition gets sparked with intellectual stimulation and engaging challenges. INTPs will be on their toes if their dating partner shows authenticity, creative ways to express affection, and finds unusual topics for conversation.
Also, honesty and not intruding on their independence are the visa for a successful relationship. When the honeymoon stage is over, INTPs turn out to be relatively simple regarding their day-to-day needs.
They are open-minded, relaxed, and very loyal to their partner. However, they might start ignoring their partner’s needs and take them for granted.
On the positive side, though, INTPs are loyal, honest, and they will give their best to please their partner in the best way they could. That might not be how their partner sees it, yet, with a little more patience and understanding, INTPs can create a very harmonious relationship.
INTP Strengths in a Relationship
INTPs highly value truth and objectivity. They never hesitate to tell the truth, despite the discomfort it might cause, and expect the same from their partners.
INTPs are faithful partners who show no interest in cheating or finding an alternative option while dating someone else. When Thinkers dedicate themselves to one person, it is the one and only while it lasts.
If they have found the ‘perfect’ partner, INTPs will show great enthusiasm for spending quality time together and please their partner the best way they could.
- Have pure feelings
They might be bad at expressing how they feel. However, when they love, their emotions are child-like, pure, and genuine.
- Creative and imaginative
INTPs are those that bring the spirit of freshness and originality in their relationship. They love new experiences and define quality time by the level of excitement they have with their partner doing the things they love.
- Not very demanding
INTPs feel confident with themselves and don’t have specific expectations or requirements from their partner. Their daily needs are relatively simple and straightforward.
- Open-minded and laid-back
Since they are inconvenient and imaginative, Thinkers are usually open to new ideas and concepts. You can’t easily shock INTPs, and their attitude towards unstandardized proposals or occurrences is generally relaxed.
INTPs are not people who react negatively to criticism, nor are they conflict starters. If they could, they would avoid unnecessary arguments or try to infuse logic to settle any misunderstanding in the best (for them) possible manner.
INTP Weaknesses in a Relationship
- Emotionally Numb
Perhaps this is their greatest weakness, as Logicians don’t seem to understand other people’s feelings and don’t consider them to be a priority in any respect. They are never guided by emotions and can’t get in-tune with other people’s feelings, leading to many relationship misunderstandings.
- Suspicious and distrusting
Since their intuitive function is very developed, and they create opinions by connection patterns related to their previous experiences, INTPs often suspect others. It may take a very long time until they build trust toward their partner, which can be very frustrating at times.
INTPs have an authentic way of expressing themselves, usually very creative and conceptually different from the general mass. This eccentricity applies in all segments, from expressing happiness and excitement to anger and dissatisfaction.
- Bad at money management or daily matters
INTPs are usually so mentally involved in contemplating their ideas that they forget satisfying even their basic needs, rest aside from doing daily chores.
INTP as a Parent – Parental Relationship with Their Children
INTP parents are devoted and committed to their children as they accept parenthood to be a learned and acquired challenge. Even from a very early age, they see their children as independent individuals with inherent personality traits that need to be steered and developed.
Since INTPs value brainpower and independence the highest, they guide their children to pursue knowledge, to think independently, ask questions, and never settle with mediocrity. As their children grow, INTPs are likely to respect their personal attitudes and preferences even if that means going against INTPs’ inclinations.
As with everything else in their lives, INTPs are open-minded and flexible parents who don’t put much pressure on their children’s day to day obligations. When it comes to structure and schedules, INTPs are not very demanding or mostly rely on their spouse.
In this respect, if their partner is not someone with a dominant Judging trait, their children might live in a very relaxed, unlimited environment where rules and discipline lack. This is an area where INTPs should pay particular attention as they wouldn’t like to turn their children into individuals who can’t distinguish from right to wrong.
Another problematic area for INTPs is their emotional numbness. Getting in-tune and understanding children’s emotions is crucial for parents, so trying hard to master this area for INTps will mean being synchronized with their children and closer to them.
That is a process that requires lots of persistence and trying hard, but at least it will be the children who will reap the benefits of having involved parents. In the meantime, being there for their children and letting them know that they care is the best thing INTPs could do.
INTP as a Lover in a Sexual Relationship
INTPs have a rich and flamboyant fantasy that stretches to their sex life as well. Even though they are straightforward and shy, INTPs approach intimacy with lots of excitement, passion, and enthusiasm.
However, things don’t usually happen lightning-fast, and it takes time for INTPs to let loose their inner thoughts and commit themselves entirely to pleasing their partners.
When Logicians are sufficiently intrigued and aroused by their partner, they enliven this creativity in the bedroom and let themselves experiment and unravel hidden pleasures.
The closer and more relaxed INTPs feel around their partners, the more fulfilling and creative their sexual life will be. If their partner shows an intuitive understanding of the INTP and responds adequately to their never-said-but-slightly-hinted demonstration of love and interest, they are likely to feel emotional affection and inclination.
INTPs in Friendships, What They Value, and How They Make Friends
The social circle of INTP friends is significantly limited to just a few good friends that INTPs are willing to share their thoughts.
These friendships involve a common interest that is based on philosophical discussions and shared passions. This means INTPs’ friends are most likely people with equally developed intellect who value logic and thinking above everything.
When INTPs feel comfortable around their friends, they love dominating the discussions with their unique ideas, witty and humorous comments, and special observance.
They don’t like entering into conflicts. In such situations, they are likely to excuse themselves and leave the conversation or try to find a logical explanation to settle things down.
Personalities with overly Sensing or Feeling functions are the least likely to be found in the INTPs’ friends list as these people dislike abstract ideas(S) or put too much focus on emotions (F).
INTP and Breakups
When true feelings are in question, every breakup is heartbreaking and will leave a trait of sadness, sorrow, or anger. While those feelings are normal, the way people go through them is different. INTPs are also quite specific in this respect. When they’ve reached the point of not going back, INTPs appear stoic and confident in their decision.
However, when they truly love the person, they struggle with their emotions and feel strongly connected with that person even after the breakup.
They are likely to show no remorse or regret about the breakup, and they will probably be able to move on. However, deep down, they will probably still have feelings that will bring back memories for quite some time.
In the first weeks, they are likely to alienate themselves from the others and spend most of their time analyzing everything that went wrong.
They will probably never share what’s happening inside their heads and will look for ways to distract from their emotions, even if that means soaking themselves in alcoholic beverages.
Yet, after some time, they are likely to accept that it is over and realize that probably it wasn’t worth the effort. They create a logical explanation of why it didn’t work out and move one. Once an INTP decides this, they don’t go back.
Frequently Asked Questions
What personality type is the best match for a romantic relationship with INTP?
The best match for INTPs are ENTJs, ESTJs, or ENTPs. With ENTJs, Logicians are most likely to share their worldviews and indulge in lengthy discussions. ESTJs are a good match when it comes to complementing INTPs’ needs that they naturally neglect. ENTPs are kindred souls that introduce them into a more socially active world.
Do INTP fall in love easily?
INTPs fall in love slowly and carefully without creating drama or drawing attention to their feelings. The process happens spontaneously, and usually, it comes as a result of physical attraction, intellectual stimulations, and philosophical excitement.
How Do INTPs Show Love?
INTPs are not emotional people, and they show love through showing interest in their partner by asking questions, spending quality time together, initiating one-on-one dates, and through body language and body touch.
Understanding how INTPs behave in relationships and what’s behind their cold appearance, one needs to grasp the fact that these people are far from self-revealing.
INTPs open up slowly and carefully, usually to a selected few, those that INTPs consider worthy of their trust. Surely, not all people are identical, and within the INTP personality type, the identity feature distinguishes two subtypes INTP-A and INTP-T (Assertive vs. Turbulent).
The INTP personality type guide goes more deeply within the specifics of the INTP personality type. Make sure to look at the list of jobs for INTPs, or find out more about INTPs’ strengths and weaknesses.
In a nutshell, the more you know about you or your close one’s personality type, the higher the chances are of tackling any issues that might come along the way.