Knowing how to stop lying to yourself is one of the most important things you can do. You might not realize it, but lies are causing harm in your life – both personally and professionally.
Lying is a choice, but why do we do it? There are many reasons why people lie to themselves and understanding this will help you overcome the habit.
It is only when you understand the reasons behind lying that you can choose not to do it.
In this article, you will learn about how to stop lying to yourself, and why it’s so important.
Please keep reading to learn more.
Why Is Important To Stop Lying To Yourself
Lying to yourself is a bad habit, but one that can be broken.
The process of learning how to stop lying to yourself requires that you understand why you lie in the first place.
In other words, when you know the purpose of your lies, it’s easier to break the habit and change your behavior.
The reasons behind why people lie to themselves are numerous:
- They want to make others happy but don’t know how – they want to be loved
- They want to avoid their problems – not wanting to deal with things
- They want to find the easy way out of a situation
When you understand why you lie, it’s easier for you to see what needs to be done.
10 Benefits to Stop Lying to Yourself
Ten of these benefits are:
- You make better decisions and avoid regrets
- You will be happier and less stressed
- You become a stronger person, mentally and emotionally
- Your relationships improve because you are more honest with yourself and others
- You feel liberated by the truth
- Others do not take advantage of you as much as they would if you were lying to yourself
- You can be your authentic self and accept who you are
- Your self-esteem improves because you don’t need validation from others
- You feel more in control of your life and destiny
- You become less of a people pleaser and more confident as a person
All of the above are valid reasons to stop lying to yourself and change your behavior.
10 Ways How To Stop Lying to Yourself
Now that we’ve looked at the why, let’s take a look at the how.
Below, you will find ten ways to stop lying to yourself and start living an honest life.
Stop taking constructive criticism as a personal attack
One of the ways to stop lying to yourself is to stop taking constructive criticism as a personal attack.
You cannot escape the fact that you will never be able to satisfy everyone, and not all people see things in your life from the same perspective that you do.
If someone gives you constructive criticism, there is usually no reason for this person to lie. Therefore, you need to take an honest look at what they have told you and benefit from it in some way.
When we fail to take constructive criticism seriously, we set ourselves up for failure later on because we don’t want others helping us with our decisions and behavior patterns.
You can avoid this if you simply pay attention to what other people have to say.
Stop trying to convince everyone that you’re right
Another way to stop lying to yourself is by stopping the need for everyone else in your life to see things from your perspective.
It’s fine if someone doesn’t agree with how you do something or feel about a situation, and it may not be important enough for you to convince them otherwise.
You should feel comfortable talking about things with the people in your life but also understand that they can see certain situations differently than you do.
That’s okay because their opinions are just as valid as yours; they’re entitled to their perspectives and feelings too.
If you try too hard to convince others that you’re right, then you will start to think that the only thing that matters is what you believe.
This can be both frustrating and damaging to your relationships with others in your life.
Realize that the fun is in the effort
If you want to stop lying to yourself, then learning how to enjoy things for what they are without any expectations is key.
It’s okay if something doesn’t go the way you wanted it to because there was probably a reason why it didn’t work out in your favor.
Instead of focusing on all of how this situation could have been better, appreciate what was good about it instead.
Once you learn how to enjoy things for their own sake and do not expect anything in return, then you’ll be able to look back on any situation in your life and appreciate the good parts of it, even if they’re few.
You can stop lying to yourself by choosing not to dwell on how you could have done something differently or wishing that things had turned out differently than they did.
It is all about being happy with what you have at this very moment.
Take chances
If there are activities that you have always wanted to try but haven’t for whatever reason, then take a chance and do them.
You will never know if something is enjoyable until you try it at least once because you’re putting all sorts of assumptions into your mind about whether or not these activities are fun.
You might end up enjoying yourself more than you expected to and taking a chance is worth it.
It’s also important to stop thinking that everything in life is something that you must plan out with as much detail as possible before you try it.
Stop putting things off until tomorrow
If you want to stop lying to yourself, then start taking the steps that you need to get what you want out of life.
The best way to do this is by cutting down on all of the things in your day-to-day life that waste time and put off important tasks longer than necessary.
This includes a whole range of simple things such as cleaning up after yourself instead of saying “I’ll clean it up later” or putting dishes away instead of leaving them out on the counter.
Take care of the smaller things so you have more free time for bigger projects or activities that can help you achieve your dreams or goals.
Quit doubting yourself
It is very easy for us to fall into habits and routines without really thinking about the choices we make on a day-to-day basis.
It can be easy to doubt yourself when you are trying something new or venturing out of your comfort zone but stop lying to yourself by believing that you are not capable of doing what it takes to get what you want in life.
You’ve probably had many experiences in the past where you were able to conquer some challenge or complete some task even though you did not initially feel confident that it could be done.
The same will hold for something that seems hard now; with enough time and effort, anything is possible if you believe in your abilities.
Consider others’ points of view
The best way for us to stop lying to ourselves is by becoming aware of why we are doing something and what it means for ourselves and other people in our lives.
Take the time to consider all perspectives, not just your own when deciding on a big or small choice because this will help you avoid going down the wrong path in life.
You’ll be able to make better decisions if you can see things from an outside perspective instead of focusing only on yourself.
For example, the situation of couples lying to each other tends to happen all the time but this is usually due to one partner not being able to see beyond his or her perception of what is going on between them.
This often leads that individual down a road towards infidelity or constant fights about who did what and who said what without ever seeing the bigger picture.
If you want to stop lying to one another, then you need to think about the impact of your decisions and words on the other person’s life.
Realize when you’ve taken on too much
A lot of times we lie to ourselves by thinking that we can handle more responsibilities than we actually can.
We need to take a step back and rethink our daily schedule because it is very easy for us to pack up our days with tasks and activities without really considering their significance or how many things they will add in at once.
Don’t give up
One of the most difficult things for people to do is stop lying to themselves when they are trying something new in their lives.
It can be easy for us to get frustrated or bored when attempting something without previous experience or knowledge so you need to have an open mind during these times.
Sometimes you just have to take a step back and re-evaluate if your goals should change before you continue down your current path even if it feels like you are giving up on something you care about.
Don’t ignore your feelings
You need to be able to ask yourself tough questions when you are trying something new because this will help you become more self-aware of what is going on in your life.
If you are doing something that doesn’t make you happy or if it does not feel right, then stop lying to yourself by admitting that it’s simply not the right time for this type of thing.
It can be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes but don’t give up on all future opportunities just because one didn’t work out the way you expected it would.
The key is to learn from your experiences and move forward with a better understanding of who you are as a person.
At the same time, if giving up makes sense for a valid reason, then you must realize when it’s time to walk away from a certain situation or activity because there is nothing wrong with quitting something if it is going to hurt you in the end.
Dangers and Negative Effects of Lying to Yourself
The dangerous and negative effects of lying to yourself are that it affects your mental, physical, mental and spiritual health.
Not knowing the truth of what is happening in life can lead to major consequences down the road if you don’t start dealing with things properly.
List of 5 Dangers and negative effects
The most common dangers & negative effects of lying include:
- It can cause problems in your relationships
- You will make poor decisions
- You won’t reach your potential as a person
- You will be stressed and anxious
- You won’t know yourself as well as you should
How To Detect Self-Deception
Understanding the point where self-deception starts is important because this will help you learn how to stop lying to yourself.
Looking at your actions and behavior is a great way to discover when you are trying to deceive yourself into believing that something is better than it is in actuality.
There are specific things that we do subconsciously when we lie about certain things so pay attention to the details because they can sometimes tell us more than what we want them to.
Notice your emotions
Your emotions are a good way for you to understand the truth about yourself and your life so don’t ignore how you feel about certain things.
If you have been feeling anxious, depressed, or even angry then this is a sign that something is not right in your life.
You can’t just compare one feeling to another because each unique emotion has its distinct qualities.
For example, anger is going to manifest itself differently compared to sadness or worry which means they are all going to hold different meanings behind them.
Pay attention to these feelings and emotions because they will give you a better idea of what the real state of affairs is within your life right now.
Notice your thoughts
Your thoughts are also a big indicator of when you are lying to yourself.
Sometimes your mind is going to be conflicted with many different ideas all at once which can make it difficult for you to know what the truth is about any given situation or event.
You must remain as objective as possible during these times because this will make it easier for you to figure out what your real feelings and attitudes towards certain things are instead of projecting them onto something else.
Notice your behavior
Your behavior is the final big indicator of when you are lying to yourself so pay close attention to how you act and react toward certain people or things.
It’s not always about what you say, but more often than not, it’s going to be about what you do regularly because this is where most of your actions will stem from.
This means that if you tend to avoid certain situations or events, then there is a good chance that something is amiss with these sorts of activities because avoiding them altogether doesn’t make any sense unless they truly cause some sort of harm in your life.
If it turns out that the only reason why you’re avoiding something right now has nothing to do with its actual consequences, then stop lying to yourself about what’s going on here because you will only hurt yourself at the end of this.
FAQ About Lying to Yourself
Why do I keep lying to myself?
The real question is: “Why do I lie to myself?” and that answer can be found by looking at what you hope to achieve after deceiving yourself into believing something that isn’t true.
There are many different reasons why someone would want to deceive themselves, but the goal tends to always boil down to either avoiding pain or seeking pleasure as a result of this deception.
In simpler terms, the reason why you keep lying about certain things is so that you don’t have to deal with those unpleasant feelings associated with what’s going on.
What does it mean when you lie to yourself?
Lying to yourself means that you are deceiving yourself for what you hope will be some sort of benefit in the end, but more often than not these types of lies aren’t going to be helpful at all because you’ll just hurt yourself later on if you continue believing them.
When someone starts lying to themselves then there is usually an emotional change that accompanies this event because the person has to get themselves into a frame of mind such that they can get away with this deception.
Why do I lie to my therapist?
If you lie to your therapist then this is usually because they are asking questions about certain areas of your life where you don’t want to talk about it or just flat out refuse to even acknowledge its existence.
By lying, you’re avoiding difficult situations by pretending that they don’t exist which makes it easier for you to continue whatever destructive behavior caused these issues in the first place.
Why should you never lie to yourself?
There are many reasons why you should never lie to yourself and this is because lying will usually bring about unnecessary pain and suffering in your life which you do not want.
Remember, the only reason why anyone ever lies to themselves is so that they can avoid dealing with an undesirable situation and this isn’t going to help you at all in the end.
Lying places a big burden on your shoulders and sooner or later it’s going to be too much for you to handle once those repressed feelings come rushing out all at once after being ignored for so long.
Can a liar stop lying?
Well, it’s never going to be easy but it is possible for someone who lies frequently to learn how to quit lying.
The first step is always acceptance. After accepting what you’ve been doing then the real question becomes: “How do I stop lying?”.
Several different techniques can help you with this such as meditation, positive affirmations, cognitive therapy, journaling, and more.
Every time that you catch yourself in one of these moments where your brain starts trying to deceive itself into believing something untrue then you just need to take a step back and contemplate this moment for what it is.
